Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons From EphesiansSample

A New Order

As the first notes of the “Wedding March” begin to play, father and daughter share a lingering look and try to contain the torrent of emotions swelling up inside.

The tradition of a father walking his daughter down the aisle is often a poignant moment in the wedding ceremony. Each step brings the bride closer to a beginning, and the father closer to an end. One handshake later, and the girl the father has protected and loved since birth is given over to another man. 

The tradition is meant to show that a new family unit is being created, one with new priorities and loyalties. In a single moment, Daddy’s little girl becomes someone’s wife and everything changes. 

When you marry, your spouse becomes your most important earthly relationship. For many couples, it’s difficult to find the “oneness” they long for because they’ve never reordered their relational priorities after marriage. Often, this happens because they continue to rely on their parents for assistance with housing, bills, vacations, and emotional support. This almost happened to us. 

Three months before we got married, I was laid off from my job. With our income slashed, we had to pull back from our search for an apartment to live in after the wedding. 

Thankfully, I thought, my parents owned an apartment building. But when I explained our situation to my mother, she shocked me by saying she would not allow us to move into their building. Furthermore, she said that after the wedding she didn’t want me to complain to her if my wife and I ever had a fight. 

How could  a strong Christian woman respond to her son like that? It was a mystery to me. It felt like the most unloving thing she could have ever done, but in the end, it turned out to be a blessing. 

My mother understood the experience would force me to leave my father and mother and hold fast to my wife (Ephesians 5:31). It forced us to work together in ways we never had. My wife-to-be helped me consider new positions and the implications they would have on our life together. When I ultimately found a job, the victory was ours.

Establishing a new household can be painful, but leaving your parents is not a rejection of your past. Rather, it is as an acceptance of your new role as a husband or wife. 

Pray: Lord, You said a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Show me how to prioritize the needs of my spouse yet still show honor to my parents. In Jesus’ name, Amen 

For more on leaving father and mother listen to, “Leave and Cleave” on FamilyLife.com.