Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons From EphesiansSample

Another Spirit

As I sat and listened to their story, it was all too familiar. They met through a mutual friend in college and married after a short engagement. While alcohol had always been a part of their relationship, it had never been a source of contention … until now. Whenever the topic of alcohol would surface, they would start fighting. Woven throughout these heated exchanges were questions of trust, control, anger, and fidelity. 

They were both Christians, but it was as if another spirit had taken over their marriage. 

When someone is drunk, their judgment, memory, comprehension, and motor skills are all impaired. With inhibitions numbed, they often say and do things that they would never have thought possible. 

Everything is amplified. Anger becomes rage and rage becomes violence. A glance turns to open flirtation and flirtation turns to infidelity. To be certain, many marriages bear the tragic scars of alcohol’s influence. 

Instead of allowing alcohol to inhabit our bodies and influence our behaviors, Paul suggests an alternative. He says we should be “filled with the Spirit.” When we allow His Spirit to take over, our lives abound with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). These are not qualities we can simply muster on our own strength. No amount of practice can make a person more patient or more loving. The mystery is that God gives us these qualities in abundance when we allow ourselves to be filled with His Holy Spirit. 

Someone “drunk” with the Holy Spirit will be influenced by God towards godly behaviors. This is beneficial in any relationship, but especially in marriage. A marriage filled with the Spirit will be quick to resolve differences in ways that build each other up, not tear each other down. Our hearts will be filled to the point where we can burst into songs of praise and thanksgiving, even in the face of struggles. 

If the influence of alcohol has had a negative effect on your marriage, then it is time to allow yourself to be filled with a new Spirit. The good news is that God stands ready to give you this gift. All we have to do is ask. Luke 11:13 tells us, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Pray: Lord, I want our marriage to be filled with YOUR Spirit. Help us to become intoxicated with Your love, both individually and as a couple. For Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For more help listen to, “Diagnosis: Addiction” on FamilyLifeToday.com.