Uncommonनमूना

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:12-15

To help break our preconceived notions of the words subject and submit, let’s look at the book of Colossians. While this book does not use the literal word submit or subject, it does describe what these words should look like. Submission does not mean inferiority. Submission does not mean you are harshly treated against your will. Colossians shows us what an inclination towards other people's needs looks like - being compassionate, gentle, and kind. This is a very different concept from how submission used to be defined by chauvinism and slavery.

Out of reverence for others’ lives and the benefits we have received from Jesus, we willingly subject or submit our lives to the concern of others. This is what submission looks like according to God. With the right understanding of this once nasty word, the Apostle Paul moves forward with this status quo.

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22

Don’t shut the book just yet! I know your heart rate may be going up, but trust me. Remember the context and original intent of Ephesians. Let’s continue:

“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Ephesians 5:23

Don’t go off on an idea or reality of a man beating his wife and God telling her to submit to him. Look carefully at Ephesians 5:23, which indicates that this exchange MUST reflect Christ’s sacrificing, loving, kind, compassionate relationship with His church. Jesus doesn’t abuse His church. He does not victimize her or condescend to her. So, if you have heard verse 22 without verse 23, I am so sorry because you were misled. Let’s not look at how our World War II dads or certain denominations have interpreted this verse, with the wife forfeiting her rights, needs, intellect, and strength to a domineering husband. Only look at God’s interpretation.

It’s not one standard for the wives but a different one for the husband. The theme of submission is in play for both the husband and the wife. Thinking the wife is supposed to submit and the husband doesn’t have to is a misinterpretation of the expectation God has laid out. He starts in verse 21 with everyone being subject to one another and now is breaking down the concept and how it should look in every relationship. The emphasis on execution is different, not the concept of submission.

Let me also be very clear that this is only between a husband and wife who follow after Christ, not between all men and all women, and not for non-Christian couples. So, ladies, if you want to be the CEO of Google, you are within your Biblical and civil rights to do so. Yet, our culture, even our church culture, is notorious for de-contextualizing this scripture.

So what is Paul saying to wives? I think this passage means that wives should rearrange their lives for their husbands in a way that brings about their growth and improvement. That’s wifely submission. Wives can bring about such strength and leadership from their husbands when they submit in a Godly way. Wives being referred to as husbands' helpers is not a lower position. God is referred to as a helper to Israel, and he is no longer lesser or lower.

Husbands are called to submit to their wives by dying for them, just as Christ did for the church. We do not do this to get her off of our backs or to buy a bigger boat, or to get more sex. Jesus died for the church. Husbands are called to love their wives just as passionately and sacrificially as Jesus did for us.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Due to the length and heaviness of this devotional today, set aside some time to pray about what you have just read. Maybe for you, this will be a time of healing. Maybe for you, it will be a celebration of the design of God. Maybe this will be a time of wrestling with the Lord and earnestly seeking wisdom. Submit to Him. Write your thoughts.