Ashamed vs. Not of this world

“Are you seeing anyone?”

Is dreading the question worse than confessing the answer? Whether it’s directed from a well-meaning friend, a cute Grandma or your new circle of work colleagues, a sting of shame often creeps into the softly spoken “no, not just now”.

What makes us feel this way? Perhaps the great conspiracy that love and sex can save us. Every rom-com is written with the narrative that a partner can complete us, our non-Christian friends live by it, even our Christian friends believe it a little.

Single friends, this is not the truth we are called to live by. In verse 14 Paul writes that when we live out the Christian life “we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine”. He is warning us that living in the world will feel like being at sea in a storm. Our values will be tossed about and we will very easily be swept away by the ‘preaching’ of others. In Philippians, Paul writes that we are ‘citizens of heaven’ rather than citizens of the earth. Our lives and our values should look different to those around us. To succeed is to know Christ, rather than to find a partner, and when our category of success changes, so does our category for feeling shame. Living in Christ frees us from all embarrassment about our singleness. We can boldly respond with “yes I’m single right now” because we have full assurance that your relationship status does not define us or equate to our value as a person. What joy that we are not of this world!

Action points:

1. Get to know an older single Christian in your church - let them inspire you with the way they live their lives.
2. Pray that you would be relieved from the power the world has over you!