Ready Or Knot? By Scott KedershaSample

Day Three:  What Is God’s Plan For Marriage?

Scripture: Genesis 2:18–25, Proverbs 28:26, Colossians 3:12–17

Let’s be honest: no one plans to end up divorced or stuck in a lifeless marriage. Every couple comes into marriage with the best of intentions. To that end, I want to introduce you to Dan and Tracy whose “happily ever after” did not turn out the way they thought it would. They had been married for twenty-five years, and they hated each other. 

This might seem like a depressing place for a study about marriage to start, but before you can fully grasp the good news of marriage—and believe me, there is good news—you must understand the whole picture. 

Back to Dan and Tracy. After dating and becoming engaged, they met once with the pastor who would marry them. He warned them that they, like all other couples, would argue about in-laws and money. They decided further counseling wasn’t needed. After all, they loved each other. Unfortunately, their marriage didn’t go like they imagined. After two decades of marriage, Dan and Tracy had become roommates. No more flirting. No more dreaming together. Their kids were grown, and all they had was a shell of a marriage. They were isolated, bored, and looked elsewhere for their satisfaction. 

Despite all the pain in their relationship, Dan and Tracy didn’t want a divorce. But they knew their marriage couldn’t remain in its current state. Dan admitted, “Even with our problems, from the beginning, we said divorce was never an option. I encourage all couples to make this decision before you say ‘I do.’ If you’re not in alignment on this one, then you’re not ready to get married.” They decided to get help. They began hard work on their marriage and heart work in their own lives. They invited others into their mess and started the healing process of confession, grief, forgiveness, and reconciliation. 

Tracy adds, “Whenever we talk with premarried couples, we tell them to do all the hard work they can before marriage, so they understand what they are getting into when they decide to tie the knot.” Today, Dan and Tracy have made it to the other side of what could have easily ended their marriage, and it’s beautiful. On their thirty-year anniversary, they renewed their marriage vows and this time, understood what they were committing to as they said “I do, again.” 

What did you grow up believing about marriage? How did your parent(s) model for or teach you what marriage should or shouldn’t look like?