Ready Or Knot? By Scott KedershaSample

Day Two: What Is The Point of Marriage? 

Scripture: Deuteronomy 7:9, Ephesians 5:22–33

Marriage is designed by God to be a lifelong, covenant relationship between one man and one woman that gives a picture of Christ’s loving relationship with His bride, the church. 

The Bible teaches that the unconditional, unbreakable covenant relationship of marriage is similar in many ways to God’s covenant relationship with His children: “I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine,” (Ezekiel 16:8).

God did not create marriage to make you happy. In fact, my friend Gary Thomas, in his book Sacred Marriage, says it this way, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” Happiness might be the by-product of a godly marriage, but God never promised that marriage will make you happy. No human relationship will ever fulfill you, bring you ultimate happiness, or complete you. 

If you don’t have a biblical view of marriage, then you are likely to seek a way out once your spouse disappoints you. You will have unmet expectations—every couple does. Your spouse will let you down, and you will let your spouse down. When this happens, your foundational view of marriage will impact the actions you take and the way you respond. Because God’s love for you is not dependent on your actions, your commitment to your spouse shouldn’t be either. 

By the end of this week, my hope for you is to have a strong understanding about the status of your premarried relationship. I believe you will find yourself in one of three places: 1) you will realize you are ready to tie the knot as you move forward, confirmed in your decision to get married; 2) you will pause the direction you are going—you are not ready to break up, but you’re also not ready to get married until you make some changes; or 3) you will come to the realization that the best decision you can make is to break up and go your separate ways. Building the foundation to a life-long marriage requires a willingness to tackle the hard topics with your significant other before the vows are exchanged.

Do you think of marriage as a conditional contract you can get out of or as a life-long covenant designed by God, intended to mirror His love for us? Why did you answer this way?