Slay the Sexy DragonSýnishorn

How to slay your dragon & not fall in love with satan

Cody & I dated for almost two years before we got married. While we knew we wanted to marry each other since the early days of dating, I’m so grateful we gave ourselves time to grow & conquer the desires that waged war within us before we stood at an altar & made vows to each other. It enabled us to get raw & real with whom we were choosing to marry & mature in our love, unhindered by any skeletons hidden in our closet.

For some reason, it seems most couples don’t date intentionally in this same way. Instead, they hide their struggles until they get married & then the inner psycho awakens. This is why you often hear newlyweds talk about how the first year of marriage is the hardest because they naively ran from the sexy dragon until he eventually caught up with them.

When I look back, It is as if God took us back to the Garden of Eden & gave us a chance to redeem our past to forge a new way for our future. Now on the other side of the altar, being married has been the easiest, overwhelmingly joyful, adventurous, fun, & more life-giving than I ever imagined. The sacred covenant of marriage has felt like heaven rejoicing over us. Honestly, I keep saying it’s 10x better than dating & we’ve seamlessly eased into a cadence of becoming one as husband & wife. But it came with a cost.

Are you willing to pay the price for claiming territory God wants you to have in your sexual health & relationship? No battle is fought without first being willing to give your life to claim your victory. Your surrender to Christ is the first step to laying down your life. But in doing so you gain the ultimate upper hand against the powers of darkness. Could it be that the attack on your innocence is so violent because the enemy knows your purity is a weapon of warfare that has the power to redeem? Could it also be this is a battle you can’t win on your own? In the Garden of Eden, Adam & Eve were seduced by satan with a counterfeit pleasure that ultimately lost them their eternal freedoms. Lust, immorality, & disgrace flooded humanity so awful to the point the Bible says God regretted making mankind & His heart was grieved (Genesis 6:6). But even in the chaos & His own heartbreak, God had a plan to redeem the innocence that had been stolen.

The Bible says Jesus was the second Adam, the ultimate sacrificial lamb that took away our sin & made us pure before God. He won the war & defeated the sexy dragon for us so that by His grace we can overcome every temptation of the enemy. The Bible says that where sin abounds grace abounds all the more (Romans 5:20)! You don’t have to live a defeated life of torment bound by the desires of your flesh. Jesus desires to give you revelation, not rules, that will set you free. No matter how bad you think you are or how long you’ve been in bondage, God’s grace is extended to you today.

I love this quote by Lisa Bevere, "God's Pursuit of you is greater than your ability to wander." Wander you may, but God’s pursuit of you is greater than even the seduction of satan. “That sounds nice & dandy Esther, but why doesn’t it seem to work for me? I love Jesus, yet I’m still overcome with lust.” I hear ya! I hope up to this point of our time together you’ve explored some new questions, had a personal revelation, & conversed with Jesus about the challenges you’re facing. I believe the transformation the Holy Spirit will do within you is greater than any 5 tips I can offer. Simultaneously, I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t give you practical guidance for defeating your dragon.

The Bible is full of wisdom, specifically Proverbs, that outlines the importance of practical guidance that will be your rear guard against the seductress spirit of this world. While reading Proverbs 5 & 7 I was struck by the detailed instructions the writer gives to those vulnerable to the deception of desire. I wish I could quote both chapters because they are THAT mind-blowing (it’s like watching the Kardashians but in Bible times). Instead, I'll share a portion that equips you with practical wisdom we can apply today:

“With persuasive words, she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter…” Proverbs 7:21-22

To be clear this scripture is not saying all women are seductresses (please don’t send me hate emails). Rather, there is a lustful spirit behind this woman illustrated in this story that is attractive & commonly desired amongst those seeking companionship. That spirit can possess both a man or woman who seeks temporal pleasure as their source of fulfillment. It comes in many forms & entices all who are weak in restraint. But ONE THING will guard you against the power of these persuasive words: WISDOM.

“Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and to insight, ‘You are my relative.’ They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words.” Provers 7:4-5

Wisdom is not just knowing the right thing to do, but the application of knowledge. It’s one thing to know right from wrong and good from evil, but as we discussed earlier, desiring to do the right thing is never enough. We NEED wisdom. In fact, we won’t be able to live a life free from the lust of the flesh without it. So how do we get it? Proverbs 9:10 says, “The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Forgive me for the simplicity of what I’m about to say, but could it be that the answer you’ve been searching for to get free from your addiction to lust is found in the fear of the Lord? You might be thinking, ‘Well, Esther I do fear God. I mean I go to church every Sunday. I read my Bible. I’m a faithful Christian,” & I totally believe you. But That’s not the fear of the Lord. Proverbs 8:13 says the fear of the Lord is to hate evil. Do you hate watching porn? Do you hate the lust of the flesh? Do you hate sex trafficking? Do you hate the lustful indulgence of masturbation & self-pleasure? Do you hate sex outside the confines of the covenant? Do you hate emotional promiscuity? Do you hate having sexual thoughts of others? If you hesitated to answer yes to any of these questions, It’s worth asking yourself if you are merely living a surface-level Christian life or truly living in the absolute fear of the Lord.

I like how John Bevere breaks it down even more,“The fear of God is not being afraid of Him. It is being afraid of being away from Him.” Are we so aware & tremble at the idea of our sin separating us from the almighty that we process our thoughts & actions through what it would cost us to be away from Him to give into our flesh? As Christians, we have become so adamant about moral formation that we’ve lost touch with the passion of our intimacy with Jesus, the purpose of our relationship with Him. I didn’t get saved & come to Christ to be a good Christian. I came to Christ to sit at His feet & learn to be loved by Him. Satan has no power over a soul ravished by his/her passionate love relationship with Jesus. The sexy dragon can strut, sway, shake the booty, & seduce all he wants, but he ain't gonna steal my affection when I’ve tasted of the goodness & pure acceptance of Christ.

As I come to a close in this devotional I’d like to ask you: how’s your love relationship with Jesus? Do you truly know His love & have experienced His grace beyond your Christian ‘to-do’ list of self-righteousness? Are you walking in the fear of the Lord in your purity, applying wisdom, & seeking personal revelation as you live a life of healthy sexuality? The fear of the Lord will bring conviction that opens your eyes, wisdom will cause you to live a life of accountability, & revelation will be the lifeblood of your passion for living a pure life.

Here’s some homework I’d like you to do after reading this plan:

1. Find a pastor/mentor who you can confide in & be honest with what you’re going through. Call them & ask them if they would be willing to WEEKLY hold you accountable. Then, schedule a time on your calendar at the same time/day every week to text/call your mentor. On this call, you must be brutally honest with them about how you’re struggling & ask them to speak wisdom into you.
2. If you’re battling with a porn addiction, set up software on your devices to block porn sites. There are many out there, just google them.
3. If you’re struggling with lustful thoughts & masturbation, find a Christian counselor who you can meet with regularly to find healing from past trauma that could be the root of your addiction. Commit to paying for & making time to show up to the sessions with NO EXCUSES.
4. A large cause of addiction is a result of spiritual oppression. If you know your parents or others in your family battle sexual addictions, this could be a stronghold & generational curse on your family. Seek wise counsel at your church & ask if someone from pastoral care can pray for you/walk you through Biblical deliverance.
5. Make a plan for your purity. Everyone fails without a plan. You can’t expect to go to war without a battle plan. If you want to win, you need to position yourself for victory. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about boundaries & then KEEP TALKING. This conversation never ends. Even when you’re married, boundaries continue to be an ongoing conversation to guard each other against the attacks of the enemy.

I believe God has equipped you with everything you need to slay the sexy dragon. You don’t have to continue to fall prey to his seductive schemes. You CAN experience total healing & transformation starting today. My prayer is that God would pour out His spirit upon you & give you revelation from heaven for how to steward healthy sexuality in your life. I pray the disillusions of attraction would be exposed to those who desire a spouse & that nothing would hinder their attraction to the right person. To those struggling with restraint in their relationships, I pray for exceeding grace & a conviction rooted in the fear of the Lord. I pray for grace for singles committed to this journey of wholeness to find relationships guided by the Holy Spirit & fulfillment of kingdom marriages to the glory of God. I pray those who are already married/in a relationship break free from the bondage of lust that has blinded their eyes from seeing their partner the way God made them. May all who read these words be emboldened by the Holy Spirit to slay the sexy dragon in their life & overcome every temptation, in Jesus' name!

Thank you for taking the time to read this devotional. For more books, resources, & comedy relief from Esther Marie visit www.esthermarie.org & YouTube & @esthermariecottle or read my other plans here