Parenting a Prodigal During the Holidays Sýnishorn

Day 2: Making a Plan

As we continue this journey through the holiday season, today, we focus on Preparation. Preparing for the holidays as a parent of a prodigal involves more than what most would assume. There is an anxiety that parents of prodigals face in the holiday season that most Christian parents would never think of.

• Is my child coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas?
• Should I invite my prodigal’s boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse for the holidays even if I disagree with their current life choices or they are unkind or verbally abusive to me?
• What do I say at holiday events when people ask about my prodigal?
• How do I navigate if a prodigal breaks a boundary that I have set regarding the holidays?
• Do I send my prodigal a Christmas gift or reach out over the holidays if they have asked to have no communication with me?

Reading the above questions might already have your heart beating a little faster than usual. However, having a plan can help you navigate these waters with grace and strength.

The Bible offers wisdom on preparation and planning (Luke 14:28). Just as you would plan an event or your family finances, it is wise to consider boundaries and have a backup plan in place. In Proverbs 16:9, we find, “In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” This verse does a great job of reminding us that while it’s important to prepare, we also need to remain open to God's Guidance as we are making these plans so that we leave room for Him to work in how we love and spend time with our children.

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In the event of your prodigal's absence, it’s important to create a plan with family, friends, or church members that does not center around your prodigal’s attendance. If they choose to join, make a plan for the type of atmosphere you create and communicate your household boundaries ahead of time. Also, consider making a plan in case your prodigal decides to show up unannounced.

As you are making your plans, allow room for God to work in unexpected ways. Your preparation is not just about creating a perfect holiday experience but about creating a space where God’s Grace can move, where moments of healing and hope can unexpectedly arise.

So, as you prepare for the holidays, do so with intention and openness. Plan for both the challenges and the joys, setting emotional boundaries (which we will get to tomorrow) while remaining open to the unexpected ways God may work. And throughout it all, lean on the Comfort and Strength that God provides, remembering that He is with you in every step of this journey.