The Five Pillars of a Healthy MarriageSýnishorn

A Sabbath / Ritual

In Hebrews 4, we see the Apostle Paul remind us of the importance of a Sabbath rest. This might seem like an unusual topic within the discussion around Marriage, but I assure you it’s not.

Sabbath is not so much about a religious practice but more about the intentionality of having a time of rest and peace so we can maintain a healthy perspective of what God’s purpose for our lives is, i.e., what’s truly important.

This is a great challenge in marriages: making time for the sabbath. There is so much pulling for our time, energy, and resources, especially in a season when you might have a young family; Sports, dancing, school commitments, & work… can seem relentless. Every couple wants their kids to have great experiences and are willing to sacrifice for them to have it, but at what cost?

My wife and I have lived through big seasons. We had three young children whilst my wife was looking after two sick, elderly parents. On top of this, when our kids were still young, we walked through two challenging cancer journeys. We learned quickly something had to be sacrificed so we could remain intentional about the sabbath & rest.

Sometimes this looked like a weekly pattern of taking a walk and having a coffee together. It was a small thing, but it was 2 hrs of rest and peace away from the chaos that wanted to devour us. We still do it to this day after almost 40 yrs of marriage. Sometimes it’s weekly, sometimes, it can only happen fortnightly, but it happens. We hold hands, walk, have coffee, and talk.

Have you found any rituals, small or big, that anchor your busy world in peace and rest? Little rituals like the one I mentioned above make a big difference. It won’t be easy, and you’ll need to be intentional (I suggest making them a calendar item), but these rhythms and patterns will bring life to your relationship.

Reflection

1. Set a coffee date each week.
2. Plan a date night either fortnightly or monthly (babysitting is cheaper than counseling).
3. Set aside 15min each night to debrief your day with your partner. (not trying to problem solve, just listening to one another’s day)