Living Changed: Through GriefSýnishorn

Sorrow and Joy

People usually gather together when a loved one is lost to share memories, tell funny stories, and enjoy each other’s company. When we catch ourselves smiling, sometimes we feel guilty for momentarily setting aside our grief, but we shouldn’t feel bad. There’s nothing wrong with experiencing joy in the middle of sadness. In fact, we can often feel both at the same time.

The day my niece had her baby was the same day that we lost her mom. It was awful and it was wonderful. Our family celebrated life and grieved death at the same moment, in the very same hospital.

After my dad passed away, we baptized my daughter on the way to his funeral. Her baptism had been scheduled for weeks and he was supposed to be there to celebrate with us. We felt joy and sorrow at the same time.

Even all these years later, my heart still aches when I think about how much my dad would have loved to see my daughter graduate high school or to cheer for my son at the state championship football game. It never gets easier.

People say time heals all wounds, but that’s not true. You never fully get used to missing someone you’ve lost. The weight doesn’t disappear. With God’s help, you just get better at carrying it. You get better at mixing laughter and tears. Your heartache changes from a sharp pain to a dull pain, like it should. It’s not a betrayal of your loved one for you to smile. They would want you to live a vibrant life–the life Jesus came to give you.

In the book of John, Jesus tells us “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

When He rose from the grave, Jesus didn’t just save us from our sins. He conquered depression, guilt, hopelessness, and everything else that could keep us stuck in our grief. He promised to go set up a place for us so we can spend eternity with Him. A place where there will be no more death, no more sorrow, and no more tears.

Because our eternity is secure in Christ, we have joy that isn’t based on our current circumstances. It doesn’t mean we aren’t still heartbroken, but happiness isn’t the same as joy. Happiness is a surface-level emotion while joy is much deeper. Even when we’re not happy, even when we’re mourning the loss of a loved one, we still have joy in the promise of eternity with Jesus.

As you continue to grieve, you may find yourself laughing one minute and crying the next. Take heart. Through every up and down, God will be with you. He is constant. He is never changing, and you can trust Him to keep His promises. When you feel unsteady, cling to God and the joy of your salvation.

Father God, thank you for wanting to spend eternity with me and for sending your Son, Jesus, to make a way. Thank you for always being with me and for carrying my heavy burdens. Take the weight of my sadness and lend me your strength. Cover me with your peace and remind me of the joy I have in you. Amen.