Living Changed: Through GriefSýnishorn

No Right Path

It’s hard to know how we’ll react to the loss of someone close to us. Maybe you thought you’d cry more. Maybe you expected to move on more quickly. No matter where you are in the grieving process or what pressures you feel to return to normal, you’re right where you need to be. There is no right way to grieve.

I have lost both my dad and my mom. With my dad, it was a sudden unexpected loss. I miss him dearly and always wish I’d had more time with him. My mom died years later after a long season of sickness. Even though I knew her death was coming, it didn’t make it any easier.

The reality is you can never truly prepare yourself to lose someone. You will always wish for more time. One more day, one more week, one more year. Even though you know no amount of time could ever be enough, you will still want more.

Grief is strange like that. It isn’t logical. It doesn’t follow a step-by-step instruction manual, it doesn’t look the same from one person to the next, and it doesn’t progress in a straight line. Sometimes it’s quiet and doesn’t disrupt your heart too much. Other times, its intensity can surprise you by how much it hurts.

Those unexpected moments can be triggered by the smallest of events, like pulling up to their house and no one peeks out from behind the curtains. Or by the big events like wishing they were here to see the graduations and weddings. The truth is, there will always be a piece that’s missing because they’re no longer here. But if we go to God with our heartache, He will help us regain our balance so that we can endure another day.

In the book of Lamentation–which means passionate expression of grief or sorrow–the author, Jeremiah, is mourning the terrible things happening in Jerusalem at the hands of the Babylonians. For several lines, he describes their suffering, even saying his soul is downcast. But then he shifts his perspective, saying:

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

I know you’re hurting. There may even be days when your heartache feels unbearable and overwhelming, but you are not consumed. The same God who loved and cared for the Israelites, loves and cares for you. Just as He carried them through their grief and sorrow, He will be faithful to carry you too. Today may be hard, but I promise not every day will be hard. He will give you enough strength for today, and His mercies are new every morning.

Thank you, God for staying close to me and helping me endure this pain that sometimes feels overwhelming. I need you. I need your grace and your mercy to get through today. I’m choosing to trust in you. Thank you for your loving patience as I process my grief. Help me to release any expectations I’m holding on to and lean on you for strength. Amen.