5 Days to Freedom from Anger in Your MarriageSýnishorn

 DAY 2: When Finances Cause You to Clash

It’s important to ask ourselves some poignant questions when conflicts over finances (or any other issue) arise:

What is my goal in dealing with this issue?

Am I opening my heart to understanding my spouse’s point of view? Can I let go of my need in this situation for the betterment of my spouse/marriage? Am I being humble? Is what I am saying and thinking, biblical? If we don’t come to a place of agreement or understanding, am I willing to yield? Can I grace my spouse and give them what they don’t deserve, just as Jesus does for me so often?

When peace rules our hearts, that is the moment to hash things out and set some specific plans in place. When emotions are high, few of us can become teachable or communicate in a way that has the other person’s best interest wholly in mind. Our emotions block us from thinking logically or responding gently and biblically.

Certain moments in our lives can be trigger moments. Are financial discussions one of your trigger moments? Do you cringe every time the topic of money comes up? A good idea is to decide with your spouse that you will talk about finances only when you have the budget right in front of you or only on the weekend when your schedules are more “relaxed”. Coming to these kinds of agreements with one another is a proactive way to avoid the reactive disagreements we all want to avoid.

The key is to be inclusive of one another’s ideas and feelings, working toward a reasonable and godly practice of stewardship. It sounds simple enough, but we forget that money is never more important than the people in our lives. But what if your spouse refuses to collaborate with you? God is more interested in our own transformation than He is in fixing our circumstances so that we don’t have to change. When your husband disregards your feelings about spending, commit to being mindful of his feelings. When your wife forgets to balance the checkbook, be diligent on your end. You can never go wrong by doing what is right!

The issue of money is mentioned more than 800 times throughout the Bible. The words “love” and “sin” are each referred to half as many times as money! Why does God put such an emphasis on this topic? For good reason. Matthew 6:21 (NIV) reminds us: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Whatever we do with our money is a reflection of our hearts. 

When righteous anger fills our hearts, He searches our souls to guard us against the co-mingling of unrighteous anger. If our spouse resists change or carries on unwisely in financial decisions, He helps us to respond with loving-kindness and discernment. When worry and discontent threaten to discourage us, Jesus is ready to offer us peace and satisfaction. When everything and everyone seems unstable Jesus remains steadfast. Put your trust in Him to both refine you and meet your needs and you will find a security that is far more valuable than money.

Let’s Pray: “Heavenly Father, You are our Provider. I trust You to cover our financial needs. Forgive me for my lack of faith. My views about money have often been sinful and need Your help to manage and steward the money you have given to me and my spouse. Grant us your wisdom. Allow financial discussions to bring us together instead of tearing us apart. All we have is Yours, Lord. May our finances reflect our desire to love and serve You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.