5 Days to Freedom from Anger in Your MarriageSýnishorn

 DAY ONE: When Your Life Looks Different Than You Thought It Would

My friend Amy lived the fairy tale married life until she found out she was pregnant with quadruplets. Hospitalized early on in her pregnancy, she and her husband, Phil, scrambled, preparing for their lives to turn upside down. Then, at age 2, their precious son, Jordan, faced the fight of his life when he was diagnosed with leukemia. Their fairy tale barely had a chance.

The stress of family life triggered arguments and left almost no time to nurture their own relationship. Life turned out much, much different than they expected.

For many of us who can relate to Amy and Phil, we might not even recognize our anger as it is often layered under discontent, fear, or anxiety. When our reality is at odds with our hopes and dreams, we become hard to please. Nothing our spouse does is acceptable because we are living in a perpetual place of discomfort. Let’s ask ourselves a few questions. Are we complaining to others about our spouses? Do we have a critical spirit? These are telltale signs of an angry heart. Discovering this about ourselves is no reason to feel guilt or shame if we allow the discovery to push us toward spiritual growth.

Proverbs 3:6 (NAS), says: “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” Our paths may be unexpected to us, but that doesn’t mean that God has made a mistake.

Hope that comes from God is genuine, deeply rooted in our knowledge that God is good, and He is for us. If you don’t believe that the present circumstances in your marriage are for your good, then you are under the influence of a lie. We may not have control over how our lives have turned out but we always have the power to make the best of the life we have. We always have a choice to trust God with the circumstances of our lives. One day, we will understand why things turned out the way they did. Today is not that day. Today is the day for trusting God.

We can either survey the twists and turns of our lives and become angry, making ourselves and everyone around us more miserable, or we can accept the peace of God, and look to Him to make something beautiful out of our lives. Your spouse will fail you. Jobs will come and go. When you can’t believe what has happened to your life, take the next step that God lays before you. Make meals, do your work to the best of your ability, speak kindly to your husband or wife, be patient as you wait in line to be seated at a restaurant, send a card to a service man or woman oversees, mentor a group of young men, shovel your neighbor’s driveway. Do the next right thing in front of you yielding to God’s will for your life. And every time you do, hope rises.

If you are reading this devotional, potential looms before you. We may need to let go of our own versions of our fairy tales, but we have a God who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all we could ask or imagine. On the mountain top, or in the valley, hope in God is ours for the taking. Hope on. Hope ever. Your story isn’t over yet.

Let’s Pray: God, my life is not at all what I thought it would be and neither is my marriage. I trust that Your plans for my life are good--better than mine. Father give me hope. I yield the picture of what I thought my life would look like to You. Let me be a good and godly wife/husband, even when I’m struggling. Anything is possible with You, Lord! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!