Blending A Family 40 day DevotionalSýnishorn

Earning the Right to Discipline

As new (step) parents we may assume parental authority over the family. Not so, at least not right away. 

Discipline administered by a new parent who does not yet love the new children is most often harsh, causing hurt feelings. Repeated harshness will lead to disrespect and resentment. Love must supersede discipline. (Hebrews 12:6) Until we truly love our new children and accept them as our own sons or daughters, we have no right to discipline them. 

“Wait a minute,” you might say. “If they are going to live under my roof, I have a right to discipline them.” 

I understand how you feel and I believed that way also, but hear me out. When we were a child, if someone other than our parents tried to discipline us, what did we say? “What gives him the right to tell me what to do? They are not my parent!” We may have already heard these words in our new family. Our new children will react the same way to discipline from someone other than their bio parent. 

When discipline supersedes love, the implication is “conditional love,” related to tolerance. “Do what I say and then I will love you.”

Discipline with love operates with mercy, grace, and gentleness. 

In my forty (40) years serving God, He has disciplined me many times, but never harshly. The Holy Spirit has never offended me, called me ugly names, or in any way put me down. God’s Spirit is always gentle, kind, and forgiving. 

Often, God has spared me from getting what I deserved, and He does the same for everyone. As we show our new children acceptance we will earn respect in our home, and eventually the right to discipline with gentleness and grace.

Suggestions:

When a new child misbehaves, new parents should express the behavior to their spouse. The bio parent should administer any needed instruction and discipline. 

During the first year the biological parent should carry out the discipline. The new parent should be the fun parent, building a caring friendship bond with each new child.

Make a list of the blessings each child brings to the family.

Our Prayer for You

God, bring Your favor to the new parents building this family. Show them the grace You give them, so they can give the same. In Jesus Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry