Healing The Wounds Of Sexual Betrayal By Dr. Sheri KefferSýnishorn

Day Seven

Moving from Fear to Freedom

Scripture: 1 John 4:18

Sexual betrayal in our relationships creates fear. Fear is a legitimate response to a real threat. But once the threat is over, fear can hold us hostage and keep us out of life, opportunities, and relationships. Healing comes when we face the truth of what happened to us and establish safety in our relationships so that we can move forward. 

Being a victim doesn’t have to be your identity or your destiny. You won’t find peace, rest, or healthy relationships as long as you stay in that place. Our goal is to move out of being a victim of betrayal by growing into victorious and empowered ways of living: 

• We are able to identify our needs and responsibly meet them. 

• We listen to our hearts and bodies and take care of ourselves. 

• We can use our voices to make clear requests and advocate for truth. 

• We can choose to repair after safety and sobriety have been restored. 

• We can free ourselves from resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. 

• We do what it takes to move from shame into kindness, truth, and self-compassion. 

• We are able to share our stories from a place of strength and self-assurance. 

• We learn we are free to make choices and take responsibility for what we can do. 

This isn’t about waiting for your husband, boyfriend, or loved one to change. It’s about owning your own healing.

But we can’t do it by ourselves. We can do it by locking arms with one woman at a time. At the end of the conferences I speak at, the women stand side by side and join hands throughout the room. As we clasp hands, we lift our arms to the ceiling. Looking around the room, we see we’ve created an unending circle of Women of Worth.

Now imagine yourself with your arms lifted high, whether in a circle in a recovery group or with a friend or among hundreds of women in a stadium. This image speaks the truth: we are women of worth. When we know who we are and what we’re fighting for, we’re FEARLESS.

You can make it to the other side. I did. And I’m here to tell you, you’re worth it. 

Who could you ask to partner with you in your journey toward healing—a counselor, a friend, a family member?