Living in Increase (Part 4) - Increase in CommunityIhe Atụ

Forgiveness in Families

The disobedience of individuals often creates unwanted consequences for others. This is especially true in families. I am astonished by the number of Christians who say they have family members who are not speaking to each other. This is true in my own family. In my case, all of them are serving God. How can this happen? In every situation, the divide is caused by an offense or perceived offense. Many times, whatever happened was not intentional, but sometimes it was. In every case, forgiveness was either not offered or not received. This un-forgiveness leads to bitterness and resentment and ultimately prevents healing and restoration. The unwillingness to forgive is an act of disobedience.

In Genesis, we read about a man named Joseph. Joseph had a pretty big family. His father, Jacob, had four wives and thirteen children. Imagine the potential for dysfunction in that family. His brothers did not like him for various reasons, the most prominent being that he was Jacob’s favorite. Then Joseph started telling them all about some dreams he was having. In those dreams, the brothers and their father bowed down to him. The final straw was when he came wearing a beautiful coat their father had given him. They plotted to kill him at first but then decided to sell him into slavery instead. They killed a sheep and put its blood all over the coat and tricked their father into thinking he was dead.

Joseph was taken to Egypt, where he was eventually given power and authority over food during a terrible famine. One day, a group of men from Canaan came to him to ask for food for their family. Joseph must have been shocked when he saw his brothers bowing before him. He remembered the dreams he had in his youth. Joseph had a choice to make at that moment. He could hold onto the offense and allow bitterness to take root. He was definitely justified in doing so. On the other hand, he could choose to forgive them. Because they did not deserve his forgiveness, it required him to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and patient (Colossians 3:12). Because Joseph yielded to God and forgave his brothers, he was able to save his family.

We only have control over our own choices. We are required to be obedient, and God requires us to forgive. Family members are going to offend and hurt us. In Matthew 6:14-25, we are reminded that “if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” We are also going to hurt or offend others at times. When this happens, we are expected to seek forgiveness; as James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Restoration cannot happen without healing. Healing cannot occur if bitterness is present. Bitterness can only be removed through forgiveness.

Julie Austin

Action Step: Seek to forgive and be forgiven. After prayer, go to your family member and ask for forgiveness with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.