Help Your Marriage Thrive While Parenting TeensIhe Atụ

God’s purpose for each day of your child’s life was ordained before they were born. When I read Psalm 139:16, it’s such a comfort to me as a parent because I know that His plan for my kids’ lives is better than mine!

This helps me keep perspective through the challenges and changes of these teen years.

When your child was very young, they needed you for literally everything. You gave them the time and attention they needed. As they grew a little older, maybe around 2½, they discovered the words “no,” and “I do it myself,” and things were never quite the same again.

As a teen, your child is learning to think for themselves. This does not mean you no longer parent them, but it does mean that the way you parent shifts. Each year, they need different things from you, and it’s hard to know exactly how to loosen the reins. There is no better place to turn in these times than God. He is the perfect Father, and James 1:5 assures us that will generously answer when we ask for His wisdom.

Your 15 year old doesn’t need all the same rules they had as a 5 year old. There needs to be a shift toward letting them become more independent. They certainly still need parenting, but now you can let them own more of their decisions and consequences. It’s not a peer or friend relationship at this point, but they don’t need the same level of guidance they required as a younger child anymore.

Proverbs 22:6 speaks to the seasonal nature of parenting; when the child is young, you train and direct them, and when they are grown, they walk independently. You’re in the process of equipping your teen to become an independent, godly adult. Listen well when they are ready to talk. Give them wisdom, direction, love, coaching, and encouragement, and seek the same from your loving heavenly Father.