Completely Single: Learning to Become the Right OneIhe Atụ

HEAD: Renewing your mind and taming your tongue

Scientists say that the head can weigh anywhere from 10-11 pounds. And taking this even deeper, the brain inside our heads can weigh on average about 3 pounds.

Now, if you had to guess, how much would your thoughts weigh? As a person who is single, your thoughts could be the very thing that is keeping you in a perpetual cycle of dysfunction. Most of us have not been taught properly to check our thoughts before we act– before you pick up the phone, and call your ex or before you react instead of responding to someone who you got into a disagreement with.

Romans 12:2 is a foundation scripture that makes your thoughts lighter as you move closer to maturing your relationship with God today as a single person. It reads, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” - Romans 12:2 (NIV)

In Greek, renewing means to renovate or change completely. If you learn how to renovate your mind, you will toss the old mindsets from past relationships, shame, and even guilt, and have a new worldview. You will also gain a biblical perspective on how to do relationships God’s way and not the world's. I am telling you, when you decide to renew your mind with God’s Word daily, you will start feeling that much lighter. But it’s up to you to be intentional to read the Word.

Another important organ that is attached to the head is the tongue in our mouth. Sometimes our thoughts can become words that we speak. “No one wants me.” “I am never going to get married”. Be honest, have you said something along these lines before? Our sole purpose in life is not to get married. However, I believe if God has placed that desire in your heart, it is a great place to pray into and to see what He wants to accomplish with that desire. But I must say, we can also negate the very thing that God wants with the words we speak. So here’s a principle you can meditate on as you go about your day and it’s given to us by one of the wisest men to ever live, King Solomon. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (NIV)

Have you ever tasted bad fruit before? The way our mouths reject the sour or bitter taste is the way God wants us to repel all words that do not bring us life, whether spoken by you or others. This is why it’s so important in this season to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who can help keep you accountable for what you think and what you say and who will speak life over you as well. Make sure you are thinking and speaking life over your future and not death.

Say this prayer with me. Father, thank You for the gift of thinking and the gift of speaking. I have the mind of Christ. Please, help me keep my tongue in check and bring Christian brothers and sisters around me to hold me accountable for how I process ungodly beliefs I have about You, myself, and others. Finally, allow those same people to help me be aware of what comes out of my mouth. I love You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.