Anchorage: The Storm of Loneliness | Part 5 of 8Ihe Atụ

Natural Temperament Or Mindset?

What exactly does this feeling of loneliness mean for the person experiencing it? For a long time, I felt that it was a natural expression of my shy and introverted disposition. I believed that I was just wired this way. That no matter how hard I tried, I would never be welcomed or understood. But the truth could not be farther from this! Loneliness is not the outcome of your personality, but a choice. You may find it harder than others to open up and fit into a crowd, but that doesn’t mean you are better off alone. We were not created to live as solitary beings, but rather to live in fellowship with both God and man, bringing God glory through that very unity.

Some of us experience a severe disconnect with the emotions and realities around us. I struggled with low self-esteem for so long that I no longer had any confidence in myself and my abilities. I reached a place where I believed that my voice and opinions didn’t matter as much as those of others. I’d silence myself for fear of being silenced and hide myself for fear of being neglected and ridiculed. But this comes from a distorted identity that we have come to possess due to a hurtful past or an irrational fear. We are hesitant to bare ourselves before God and others because that kind of vulnerability leaves us self-conscious and exposed. We are not called to see ourselves as higher or lower than we are, but rather to see ourselves the way God sees us. That is the true definition of humility.

Sometimes we think that our loneliness would just disappear if we met “the one”, someone who can understand and tolerate our most irrational fears and whims. The fear of not being good enough, of not being taken seriously and valued, is a fear that must be brought before God. The only place of acceptance that truly matters is the presence of God, and we have been granted access to this place by the finished work of Christ. Once you start confiding in God and find a friend in Him, He begins to reshape your idea of a relationship. He changes the way you see and treat the people around you and He gives you the grace to overcome your weaknesses and pursue a life of freedom and purpose.

Reflection

Have you gotten so comfortable in your loneliness that it no longer makes you uncomfortable? God has made each of us to encourage and build each other up. Are you willing to let go of your distorted perceptions and insecurities and embrace the life God has planned for you?