Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic LoveIhe Atụ

It may sound romantic to give our hearts to a man, but the Bible never tells us to give our hearts to a person. When we give all of our hearts to someone else, we run the risk of making them an idol. Instead, we're kept safe when we give our hearts to God and our love to others. 

When we give our hearts away our emotions follow. Often this blind trust convinces us that there’s no need to set boundaries or guard our hearts. Boundaries, however, not only protect us from bitterness that comes when others violate our wishes, but they also protect the relationship by creating an atmosphere where mutual respect can flourish.

Maybe you’ve thought boundaries were selfish. That your priorities were to make your partner happy and ignore your own needs. Maybe you thought it was his job to protect your heart, not yours. That if he loved you, there was no need to set boundaries. Then what did you do if you felt mistreated? Taken advantage of? Lied to? You probably felt angry and anger has to come out somehow. 

If you have a habit of ignoring your instincts or denying your emotions, your capacity to set healthy boundaries will be compromised. If that’s you and you realize that you’ve allowed men to take advantage of you, it might make you mad at yourself for tolerating unacceptable behavior. That’s okay. Some anger is justified and can make you aware of the need for change. Just don’t stay angry. Allow righteous anger to motivate you to make healthy changes, and then forgive yourself and move on. 

Some women have grown up with the twisted notion that submission and surrender obligate them to say yes. That somehow it’s godlier to be agreeable. Saying no, however, is a spiritual precept. Why? Because when we say yes when we really mean no, we have to clean up the mess of frustration and potential bitterness left behind. We are supposed to let our yes be yes and our no be no. The good news is that we don’t have to allow others to trespass against us. The Bible says, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor,” not "Thou shalt please thy neighbor.”

If you’ve been mistreated, let me assure you: God is not happy. You didn’t deserve it. And you don’t have to continue to allow it. Boundaries are not only biblical, they’re necessary for your freedom and the health of your relationships. Boundaries help you close the door on bitterness so your soul can heal from the wounds of toxic love and walk in the freedom and strength of forgiveness. 

It’s time to release the shackles of your past. It’s time for you to be free!

Are your soul wounds toxic? Take the quiz. 

We hope this Plan encouraged you. Explore other resources from Christy Johnson .