In Love & Always ArguingIhe Atụ

Be Quiet & Listen

Take a step back, listen with your ears, not with your emotions.

Trying to express how you feel and having the person on the other end fail to listen to your words is painful. There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. I can hear noise from the neighbor next door, however, it is only when I take a second to listen, that I’ll actually understand what is taking place. When your partner speaks, don’t just tolerate their words. Saying “I hear you” is  cool but you need to listen with an open mind, like the way you’d want someone to listen to you when you’re pouring out your heart. I’ve realized that when you have a partner that actually listens when you speak, they are able help you to notice things that you never even considered - thus, adding considerable value to your life and increased insight to your perspective.

Don’t just assume that you know what your partner is trying or going to say.. LISTEN. Understand that you are both in a very vulnerable state, and as they’re speaking, they’re probably fighting so many voices telling them to hold everything in. Your partner needs to know that when they speak to you, you’re not merely hearing the sound of their voice, but that you cherish them enough to listen to their heart. Always remember that hearing is a natural ability, but listening takes conscious effort. As we read Proverbs 21:28, we see that a careful listener is successful in their testimony. In the same way, careful and intentional listening in a relationship is a first step to establishing peace and understanding in the midst of conflict. 

We’re busy people, so sometimes it’s not even that we don’t want to listen attentively but we might have been caught up in trying to multitask! When we do this, we risk missing our partner’s point and in our hurried response to quickly resolve the conflict, we can end up making matters worse because of misunderstanding. This causes us to miss out on so many things, and it actually delays our chance of growing. Let us work diligently to avoid the pitfall of Proverbs 18:13; which reminds us that it is foolish to respond without first listening.