Build a Better Marriage by Building a Biblical PerspectiveSample

What are the most common thoughts you have about your spouse and your marriage? Are you making assumptions? Are you boxing them into old ways? Are you labeling your spouse as their actions? Do you have empathy and compassion for your spouse and their point of view? Colossians 3:2 tells us to “set your minds on things above.” This phrase is another reminder that our mindset is a choice.

In Colossians 3:12, we read Paul’s instruction to “put on” the following traits that are in line with God’s ways: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and to bear with and forgive one another. Do these characteristics describe your attitude toward your spouse? Are you diligently putting on the characteristics of Christian love when it comes to your marriage?

The phrase “put on” reveals that this is an active process. While the Holy Spirit within empowers us as believers with the power to do what is right, we are still active participants in the process. This process takes place as we “let God transform” us (Romans 12:2) by changing the way we think.

Have you made the choice and taken action to “put on” kindness, compassion, humility, meekness, and patience inside your thought life? Do you interpret your spouse’s words and actions through the lens of grace? That one shift has the power to prevent so much marriage strife and facilitate greater closeness and connection between you. Ask God to help you set your mind on things above. Ask for the Spirit to empower you toward a way of thinking in line with His character.

Questions for you:

1. What triggers your negative thought patterns? Are there situations you notice that set them off?
2. Has trust been broken in your marriage, either large or small? How can you address the issue graciously so you can work together toward repair?