Overcome Porn: The 40 Day ChallengeSample

There are two critical ingredients to a good accountability relationship: genuine friendship and deep wisdom. Knowing these two ingredients, there are a few ways we can find a good ally to hold us accountable.

1. Infuse an existing friendship with wisdom. Start with what you have. Do you already have a genuine friendship with someone? Do you have someone in your life you count as a true brother or sister, someone who sticks with you through thick-and-thin?

Infuse this friendship with wisdom. Sit down with this friend and tell him or her why you need accountability. Make it very clear that you need more than just a friend to encourage you and listen to your confessions. You need a wise friend: someone who can see to the core of who you are, see past your pretenses, and help you discern why you do the things you do.

2. Invest in a relationship with a wise mentor. Again, start with what you have. Do you already know a streetwise and biblically grounded person? Is it is a pastor, a leader at your church, or a counselor? Let this person into your life. Work on becoming for one another the “brother born for adversity.”

How do you invest in a relationship like this? In addition to talking about your problems, take time to have casual conversations about a lot of topics until you find those common interests, tastes, and experiences. Get together in a more casual setting to explore a common hobby.

3. Initiate a brand new relationship. You may find that you neither count anyone a true friend nor do you know someone who is truly wise. In this case, it is time to initiate a new relationship. Consider attending a local church small group or support group. You can also seek out an online group, such as the male-only Samson Society. 

As you look for an ally, patience and intentionality are key. Don’t give up on a friendship if it isn’t the ideal accountability relationship right out of the gate. It takes time for a genuine friendship to develop. It takes time to get to know one another in a way that really matters.

Reflection

• Can you think of anyone else who might make a good ally? 
• How can you make accountability reciprocal with your current allies?