Overcome Porn: The 40 Day ChallengeSample

Yesterday we described the four key building blocks that give shape to our accountability relationships: meeting together, confession of sin, prayer, and encouragement.

What do all these things have in common? 

Intentionality. If we aren’t intentional, accountability can become unhelpful or even harmful very quickly. Here are five ways accountability often goes bad:

Problem #1: Allies are absent.

It is hard to hold one another accountable when allies meet infrequently or sporadically (or not at all). Allies need a very clear picture in their minds about what accountability really entails.

Problem #2: Accountability groups are programmatic.

We simply don’t have the quality of friendships that are close and spiritually meaningful, so we search for it in forced and sometimes awkward settings. Aim toward something rich and natural.

Problem #3: Allies are sincerity-centered.

Conversation must not stop at confession. Accountability calls us to prayer and encouragement. After humble confession, we should encourage one another with the assurance of God’s forgiveness, and we should approach God’s throne of grace in prayer together.

Problem #4: Allies are obedience-centered.

The focus of accountability should not be moral performance. Mere rule-keeping does not itself get to the heart of sin. Merely knowing the law only aggravates our lusts. Following rigid rules—don’t touch, don’t taste, don’t handle—is “of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh” (Col. 2:20-23). Accountability needs to focus on Christ and His obedience in our place, not our own performance or lack of performance.

Problem #5: Allies forget the Gospel.

The Gospel is the capstone of accountability. When we focus on confession, we forget to comfort each other with a testimony of God’s forgiveness. When we focus on obedience, we center our identity on our performance. Our confessions, prayers, and encouragement should all be done under the canopy of what God promises his children (1 Jn. 1:9; Rom. 5:1-2; Titus 2:11-14; Heb. 4:16; Col. 3:1-4, 16). 

Allies need to not only hear an account of friends’ sins, but also give an account of God’s grace—a grace that not only saves us from the guilt of sin, but also from the grip of sin.

Reflection

What are 2-3 specific things you and your accountability ally can do to avoid some of these accountability pitfalls?