The Heart Of Recovery By Deborah and David BeddoeSample

Day Three

Our Role as Bystanders

Scripture: Isaiah 55:8–9

One of the hardest things to do when we love an addict is to recognize our place in our loved one’s recovery story. We are the bystanders, not the healer, at Lazarus’s tomb. But we can help a loved one as they wrestle free from the bondage of addiction and from the side effects that threaten to pull them back into their grave. 

Addiction leaves a wide path of destruction in its wake. In the body, in a family, in the community around the person in addiction. The addict himself or herself may have numbed themselves so much that when they emerge from the death grip of addiction, they’re overwhelmed by the damage they’ve done in their life. Relationships need to be mended, debts paid, jobs found. Living drug free and starting over is packed with obstacles and doubts: My family won’t forgive me, my friends won’t have anything to do with me, my wife left, no one will hire me. . . . Setting everything right again seems impossible. The only way for them to move forward without becoming immobilized by overwhelming discouragement is to take one step at a time in the right direction. 

But for those of us who’ve been waiting, praying, begging God for healing, we’re ready for them to be healthy right now. “One step at a time” feels too slow! 

The healing process can’t move fast enough for us. Either we’re ready to pick up, move on, and forget the past; or we want our loved one to start in right away on making up for everything they did wrong in their addiction. We want them to be sorry. We want them to recognize the damage they caused. We want to see reform! The last thing we want to hear is that our patience is needed now as much as it ever was. 

It’s difficult to accept that getting clean is just the beginning of our prayers being answered. Recovery is a whole-life healing process. When a person makes the decision to get sober, it’s just the start of their recovery journey. They’re setting out on a path to clean up not only themselves but every aspect of their life. 

Lord, I know your ways are higher than mine. I’m thankful for that, because it is so hard for me to see beyond the present moment. Give me wisdom and patience in this recovery journey. Amen.