Parenting With Heart By Stephen James And Chip DoddSample

Day 3

Full-Hearted Parents Raise Full-Hearted Children

1 Corinthians 13:1-2

Raising full-hearted children is not an outcome as much as it is a by-product of being our God-given true selves as parents. We can’t help but raise kids with heart if we are parents with heart. So many parenting approaches focus on the outcome (kids). Far too few focus on the experience of parenting. 

We can know a ton about what our kids need and how they develop and how to best respond to them, but if our hearts are not in the right place, all those actions, as the apostle Paul said, just make a lot of noise. Paul also said if we have knowledge, insight, and faith but no love (i.e., heart), then we are nothing.

Being a full-hearted person means being a person who lives life with enthusiasm, sincerity, humility, commitment, courage, willingness, acceptance, and a daily surrender to life on life’s terms. Full-hearted people recognize that their ultimate purpose is relationship, and they work to develop intimacy with themselves, others, and God. They can attach deeply to others in relationship and are able to value and honor the inevitable losses in their lives. They are able to recognize when they have been relationally wounded and know where to seek healing. Full-hearted people are able to say, “I’m sorry,” “I am wrong,” “You are right,” and “Will you forgive me?” They are capable of accepting their limitations and celebrating their gifts. They listen to their fear, trust it to help them prepare, learn from their mistakes, and ultimately risk in faith—even in their uncertainties. Full-hearted people live with passion. 

Becoming a person like this and parenting from a posture like this demand great intentionality. Fundamentally, they require trusting that parenting is a process and a relationship, not a task that gets results—this is even how God parents us. 

Your kids need you—fully human and fully alive. You are the gift you give your children—the real you. 

You will be blessed by facing your limits and by continuing to live in courageous hope. The gift of the effort is the freedom to persevere, to laugh at yourself, to be embarrassed, to experience regrets and forgiveness, to not take yourself so seriously, and to experience the profound and meaningful mystery of loving as you let go.

Name three ways your acceptance of yourself gives your children permission to be themselves.