Parenting With Heart By Stephen James And Chip DoddSample

Day 1

Clumsy Is As Good As It Gets

Romans 3:23

A metaphor we use to describe this approach to parenting is that of giraffes running on ice. They’re out of their element; they’re equipped for the savannas, not the subarctic. Giraffes on ice—with their tangled legs, spun-out bodies, and frantic faces—reflect back to parents how we feel on a daily basis as we raise our children.

All of us are works in progress, and being a clumsy parent is as good as we will ever become. Sometimes we crash on the ice in a massive tangle, and sometimes we glide along, believing we will never fall again. The truth is we are powerless over being human. We are powerless over being imperfect. We are powerless over being deficient. As beautiful, mysterious, and magnificent as we are created to be, we are also created with astounding limitations, one of which is our inability to have mastery over life.

Accepting our imperfection and powerlessness is key to becoming capable of loving children in all their own humanity. How do we get to this place while still pursuing all that is good, true, noble, lovely, just, admirable, and praiseworthy? There is no magic pill, no miracle cure, no checklist, no performance plan to arrive at this place of acceptance—only a path to walk and a life to live. This process of learning to live fully helps us to be good at being a person, which allows us to be the parent our children need.

Our passion is to lead people back to their hearts so they can live more fully. If your children don’t have your heart, they will have to raise themselves based on your rules instead of relationship. We hope to lift parents out of the postures of anxiety and shame and ask them to consider a guiding question: What does it mean to parent a child toward being a full-hearted fifty-year-old? No matter your background, personal experiences, age, or children’s ages, you can apply this heart-centric process to your life. Even if your kids are grown, it’s not too late to grow as a parent or to be more involved in your children’s hearts.

In what ways does parenting make you feel like a giraffe on ice? What do you do when you feel frustrated by your limitations and imperfections as a parent?