A Simple Guide to a Better Marriageنموونە

Making Sex a Mutual Joy

Contrary to the opinion of some, sex is not a topic that God finds taboo. In fact, sex was God’s idea. He created us male and female, and he instituted marriage with the intent that two would become “one flesh.” Why then, do so many couples fail to find mutual satisfaction in this important area of marriage?

One reason is unrealistic expectations. Films, magazines, and novels convey the idea that sexual thrill and mutual sexual satisfaction are automatic. Thus, when couples encounter difficulties in the sexual part of their relationship, they are often frustrated, assuming that their struggles are unique. In reality, most couples struggle in this part of their marriage. Mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic. We must learn how to pleasure each other sexually.

Why did God make us so different sexually? God intended sex to be an act of love in which both husband and wife have the attitude “How can I pleasure you?” If we make it an act of love, in which we are each seeking the well-being of the other, we will find mutual sexual fulfillment. If, however, we focus only on our own pleasure, we may never find such fulfillment. Sex was designed by God to be a deep and intimate expression of love, not simply a physical act.

The truth about sex is that God ordained and designed it to bring mutual pleasure in marriage. As in all of life, we are called to live by the truth. We admit our negative attitudes and feelings, but we don’t serve them. With the help of God, we choose to affirm His plans for sex.

In order to find mutual sexual fulfillment, we must learn to communicate openly about this part of our marriage. Your wife will never know your feelings, needs, and desires if you do not express them. Your husband will never know what pleases you if you do not communicate. I have never known a couple who gained sexual oneness without open communication about sexual matters.

I suggest that you make a list of suggestions to give your spouse that would make this part of the marriage better for you. This list may include simple things that your spouse has never thought of. You are the expert on yourself. Open communication is the road to finding mutual sexual fulfillment in marriage.

Respond

How has the media/popular entertainment affected the way you view sex? How does God’s revelation of His design for sex change your view/understanding?