Know Each Other’s Hearts 

It’s important for couples to stay focused on the state of their collective heart, despite life’s many distractions. 

Introduction 

Too often, we’re so focused on our lives outside of our homes that our families get the leftover parts of us. When that happens, we lose sight of what’s going on in our spouse’s heart. That’s a dangerous spot for any married couple to be in. 

Tension 

The world encourages us to achieve. It encourages us to make a name for ourselves. 

There’s nothing inherently wrong with that inner sense of ambition as long as it’s focused in the right direction. But we can’t let a desire for the wrong kind of success make us failures at home.  

Truth 

When we are anxious, overwhelmed, or feeling attacked, we don’t think straight. We become stressed out and defensive, and we lose perspective. Our relationships suffer. Our marriages can suffer. In his letter to the Philippians, the apostle Paul gave this advice.

When you're completely overwhelmed and don't know what to do, go to your heavenly Father. Verbalize your needs to God. His peace will calm your brain. And that calm will help you to refocus on what matters most— not your job or your success or even your reputation, but your connection to your spouse. 

This is the first step in guarding your collective heart. It’s vital to the health of your marriage that you take time every day to talk with your spouse about what’s going on in your hearts— to just talk about your day in emotional language.

Bottom Line 

Guard your collective heart. 

About the Expert

This content is an excerpt from Ted Lowe's interview with Joshua Straub.

Josh Straub is a speaker, author, marriage and leadership coach, and a podcast and TV co-host. He and his wife, Christi, lead Famous at Home, a company equipping leaders and corporations in emotional intelligence and healthy family systems. 

Josh is a Fellow of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling. He is the author of six books, including "Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well." He and his wife, Christi, host the Famous at Home podcast.

About the Study

One Thing(s) is a marriage small group study from Married People. To learn more and get the full Bible study, including print guides, visit onethingsmarriage.com.