Restored: Transforming the Sting of Your Past Into Purpose for Todayনমুনা

Rejection

Mom met a guy named Geoff at the bar where she waited tables, and just three weeks after they met, we moved in with him. Geoff had one of the nicest houses I can remember us living in, but I didn’t like him. From the very beginning, I thought Geoff was a bad person who did bad things, and it made me angry that my mom would choose for us to live with this man.

Geoff and Mom were terrible for each other. Her alcohol addiction went from bad to worse during this time. One night I could hear yelling coming from the living room. She was clearly afraid and was screaming for help. That was it. I had had enough. I was so tired of this cycle. I was so tired of mean men.

The anger just began to pour out of me, and for the first time, I stood up to one of Mom’s abusers. I honestly cannot remember how the fight ended. I assume with my mom begging us to stop. But what I do remember is one of the greatest moments of rejection in my life. This moment hurt me deeper than my father walking away and leaving us. Worse than being the poor, smelly kid at school who other kids walked away from.

Geoff’s words were said to my mom, but they were directed at me. She was going to have to choose between him and her son. My mom turned to me and, with tears in her eyes, simply said, “Chris, you have to go. You are out.”

I couldn’t understand. She had a choice, and she chose him. Rejection swallowed me at that moment. Something in me broke that took decades to put back together.

Pray with me: Jesus, I too have known rejection. It has a hold on me. It keeps me from being vulnerable with those who love me. It keeps me from admitting when I am wrong. It keeps me skeptical of the motives of each person I meet. I pray that your love and acceptance of me will heal me from my past. You chose me. You call me by name. You want me. May it be Your love, belief, and inclusion of me that heal the pain of rejection in my life. In turn, help me never treat someone as something to be discarded, and forgive me if I’ve ever done that. Amen.