Tasting Dirt: When You're Disappointed With Godনমুনা

Mary of Bethany

Mary of Bethany was disappointed with Jesus. There are several Marys in the Gospels, so I do not want you to get confused. We first meet this Mary in the ever-popular Mary and Martha passage in Luke 10:38-42. If you have heard teaching about Mary and Martha before now, try to set aside everything you think you know about this story and connect with Mary in her disappointment. Lazarus, Mary’s brother, was sick, so sick that the sisters sent for Jesus to come and heal him. They loved Jesus, and the Bible tells us very specifically that He loved them, too. It stands to reason that they expected Him to come. They certainly expected Him to heal Lazarus, even if He did it from a distance. They asked, they believed, and they waited patiently. 

But Jesus waited, as we read in John 11:11-15.  

Jesus loved Mary, yet He let her brother die. Seemingly, on purpose, after He practically promised that Lazarus would be fine, even though she asked, believed, trusted, and waited. I imagine the moment Lazarus stopped breathing; the shock Mary must have felt. 

Getting the news that a loved one has died, unexpectedly, is like being hit in the gut with a tree branch. Everything hurts! Then funeral preparations are made. The funeral happens, and we are left with the reality that our loved one is gone. 

I have grieved and experienced someone suggesting I take my sorrow to Jesus, and I have responded bitterly. If I were Mary, I would have been angry with the One who disappointed me. I would have thought,  “Now He shows up, now that it is too late. And He has the nerve to ask me to come out to Him when He took His sweet time getting here.” 

Imagine Mary walking out to where Jesus was, seeing Him, falling at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” The weight of her disappointment and suffering bearing her down into a heap on the dirt road, raising a cloud of dust swirling around her head. She dissolves into tears and uncontrollable sobbing. John 11:33-35 (NIV) says: 

When Jesus saw Mary weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. 

Jesus’ tears mirrored Mary’s pain. Her suffering had caused His suffering. Jesus looked on her anguish, and it hurt Him because He loved her. As willingly as He had waited, as purposefully as He had allowed Lazarus to die, He allowed her pain to hurt Him. He joined her in her suffering. Jesus wept.

The Son of God, the Word of Truth, Co-Creator of the universe was “deeply moved in His spirit and greatly troubled” (v. 33) by the suffering death had inflicted upon the people He loved.

Reflection: Does Jesus love us like He loved Mary? Yes. We can rest in God’s unfailing love.