Fighting for Love in a Porn Affected Marriageনমুনা

My husband knows I get funny about my birthday. It’s not the getting older thing that spins me out, I just hate people feeling obligated to do something for me just because it’s my birthday. I know, weird, right? Anyway, this year he secretly approached all my friends and had them write a special note to me. He compiled them into a big pink folder, then underneath a droopy handmade banner, with tears in his eyes, he read them out to me. It was the present I didn’t know I needed. 

But he did. 

My husband knows me through and through. My pains, my dreams, and my delights.   

And yet, this is the same husband who a decade ago, made me feel so unwanted, rejected and unloved that I froze the bank account and called a divorce lawyer. This is the same man I railed at God for allowing me to marry. 

Porn nearly destroyed the best thing that has ever happened to me before it began. My husband is not the man I thought I married. He is so much more. When I think about the fact that God knew this and planned this from the beginning, I become overwhelmed with awe and gratitude. Even when I thought I had picked so badly; He knew I hadn’t. 

When everything seems hopeless, and you feel duped and lost and hurt, take comfort in the fact that you have a heavenly Father who formed you in your mother’s womb,  knows your words before they are on your lips, and has written and planned your days before a single one of them began.  This journey you find yourself on is not an accident. You are a precious part of God’s unfolding plan, and He loves you with an everlasting love. 

”For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

This plan was adapted from Fight for Love: How to Take Your Marriage Back from Porn by Rosie Makinney. Visit https://www.fightforloveministries.org/ to find out more.