Fighting for Love in a Porn Affected Marriageনমুনা

As a wife whose marriage was taken to the brink of divorce because of my husband’s pornography addiction, I am often upset by the magazines at the supermarket check-out line. Every time I read a headline that suggests that the way to improve a relationship is to learn to how to have sex like a porn star, I am tempted to whip out my sharpie and graffiti on them. The statement that porn is beneficial to relationships is so egregiously false, that if I wasn’t so mad at the lies all around us, I would probably burst into tears.   In a society where no one even sees porn use as problematic, it can feel futile to even attempt to get it out of your marriage. 

But that’s when I remember how clearly the Bible instructs us to close our ears to the spirit of this age. We are told not to conform to the pattern of this world where a life of sexual immorality is seen as life-enhancing. 

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)

Thankfully, we have another sweet voice to listen to. The voice of our Heavenly Father who loves us with an everlasting love, and has placed clear boundaries around sex for our own protection.

For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality,  that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God. (1 Thess. 4:3–5)

Living this side of heaven, it’s going to be hard, not to mention lonely, to stand firm and stick to culturally unpopular principles, but do not despair. Remember, you are fighting to keep your marriage in line with Word of God, not the latest issue of Cosmo. The Word of God, wedged deep in your heart, not your own strength, will enable you to keep standing. 

Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. (Matthew 7:24)