Staying I Do: Committed, Connected & Crazy In Loveনমুনা

KEEP IT KIND

One of the things Ted and I agreed to before we got married was we would always keep it kind. There would be no insults, slams, jokes, or making fun at each other’s expense. Why? Because those things hurt and cause damage. They would replay in our minds whenever an argument came up or we were feeling slighted or offended. We place high value on each other’s words because we trust they are spoken from a place of good intention, even if they don’t always come out that way. Sometimes we have to take time to interpret what we said to each other or apologize for unintentionally hurting the other’s feelings. But in either case, we both know and trust that what we say is not intended to harm.

When you begin to communicate intentionally, with a great marriage as your desired outcome, you evaluate a little bit longer what words should actually escape your lips. This is why you must shift the pattern of your words as soon as possible. Now you know—and knowing is half the battle. Thanks, G.I. Joe.

Your words count for a lot to your spouse and vice versa. They are more valuable than any other person’s so invest them wisely. I view Ted as my biggest and best investment. I use my words to build him up, to remind him of the greatness inside of him, and to let him know I love and desire him. I praise the things he does that mean a lot to me because I want him to keep doing them. I acknowledge and show gratitude for the ways he lightens my load.

One of the things he made me promise at the beginning of our marriage was that I wouldn’t nag him, to which I replied, “Then don’t make me.” See what I did there? Joking aside, I didn’t want to nag, so I made sure to communicate how much it meant to me when he finished each item on the seemingly never-ending honey-do list. Focusing my words on the positive outcomes caused them to grow. What is exciting now, after this much time together, is how on some things, he can predict my needs and show even more love by getting it done before I write it down.