Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously

About three years into our marriage, we were struggling. We had both left our corporate jobs in pursuit of full-time ministry, leading to a massive lifestyle change. As soon as we brought home our firstborn, it seemed we were always buying more food and diapers. In other words, we were broke.

But we also knew we needed a few days away for the sake of our marriage. We had noticed some problems communicating, and admittedly, as soon as the baby was born, my attention shifted drastically. Motherhood consumed me; I spent all my time thinking about and catering to our child, and our marriage took a back seat.

I knew this frustrated Jimmy because he would make jokes about it. If we had friends over to give him an audience, he would say things like, “What do I need to do around here to get some attention? Put a diaper on?” That always got a laugh out of our company, but deep down, it ate at me. It made me feel as though I wasn’t enough. As if I was torn between being either a good mother or a good wife—I couldn’t handle both.

We were both insecure; it just came out in different ways. Jimmy made jokes, and I would get quiet and deflect my pain. Instead of telling Jimmy how I felt, I hid my emotions and isolated.

Even though we were ignorant as to how to navigate our issues, we were aware that we needed to get away and reconnect. To invest a little into our relationship. So, we seized an opportunity that only God could have made possible. We’ve noticed over the years that when we recognize our needs and take the initiative for one another, God steps out on our behalf. This time,e it was in the form of a friend’s condo in Myrtle Beach. They offered it to us for a week, for free!

We packed our bags, dropped off our daughter with the grandparents, and headed to the coast. Now, even though we were staying at the place for free, we were still on a very tight budget. One day, we found an alligator farm with no admission fee. Why not? We pulled the car over and spent the entire afternoon exploring the park.

At one of the exhibits, there was a talking parrot who would repeat your words back to you. I watched Jimmy’s eyes light up! He loves to make people laugh. My husband came up with stranger and stranger phrases for the parrot to repeat, which the bird did verbatim. I couldn’t help soaking in the moment that reminded me of our dating life before marriage—Jimmy lighting up the social situations while I basked in each new experience.

Laughter truly is good medicine. It can remind you why you love someone so much,h even in a difficult season.

That day, laughter was washing away the walls Jimmy and I had built up between us. It was as if it covered our insecurities, allowing us to reconnect. When we left for Myrtle Beach to work on our marriage, the last thing we expected was that a talking parrot with a sense of humor would teach us how to talk through our struggles and celebrate our strengths.

Respond

• Does laughter play a role in your relationship with your spouse? How?
• Share a story.

Prayer

God, thank You for laughter. We know there will be hard times, but we ask that You help us find humor in our circumstances and laugh together as a couple.