Day 1: “Am I all in?”

Today’s soul question is “Am I all in?” and our focus is on commitment.

When you reflect on that question, what comes up for you? Are you all in on your marriage, or is there one foot in somewhere else? Are you only all in with your marriage when _________ or ________ is happening or when you feel _________ or ________?

Scripture tells us in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

God is not telling us to literally abandon our parents when we get married. He reveals to us that through marriage, we leave our old way of life and our old way of doing things and create a new “primary” family. God invites us to let go of old strategies, patterns, stories, and behaviors we had before marriage and become present and fully committed to our spouse. When we become “one flesh,” we don’t literally become one giant blob of flesh, but we do become one unit, a partnership guided by the Holy Spirit. Our unconscious commitment to clinging to how we did life before we got married keeps us from being all in on this partnership. Before we entered into the holy union of marriage, we experienced the following:

Our “original” family unit

“The single life”

Constant individuation and freedom

Decisions based on our needs and desires alone

Marriage is a huge shift in how we do daily life, and it should be done with grace and humility. If two businesses merge that each existed for around 25 years, it would take an entire team several years to fully integrate those businesses. Blending the lives and wills of two individuals is just as complicated and deserving of care and patience.

When we’re all in on our marriage, we’re present, focused, and fully committed to it without condition.

Similar to when we become a follower of Christ, life looks different, and it’s tempting to step back into our old way of doing things. Answering the question “Am I all in?” helps us experience a known and felt sense of commitment. When we leave our old way of doing life and enter into marriage, God brings us a new level of joy and opportunity to worship Him.

Action Item: Write a little note to your spouse today, reminding them you are all in. When we do this seemingly insignificant gesture, it creates safety, trust, and connection.