Strengths Based Marriage预览

Minimization is any language or behavior that downplays a strength or holds it back from its full potential. Perhaps you feel a little embarrassed about your strength, or perhaps from the time you were little you have been told not to draw attention to yourself and your strength. Sometimes people downplay their strengths because they think they will be perceived as arrogant or prideful, and consequently they back out of a bold contribution because it has been shamed in the past.

It is very common to believe it is boastful to draw attention to yourself. At the heart of this conditioning—which many of us endure as we grow up—is the idea that we are all equally wonderful, so there is no need to make yourself stand out... Each of us is remarkably unique, and to minimize that irreplaceable uniqueness is to rob the world of a contribution that cannot come any other way. We need to avoid minimizing our strengths because of shame or any other reason.

Some people downplay their strengths because of blindness, meaning they simply don’t know their strengths are anything special. Our strengths have been with us from our first breaths, and as a result, they feel completely normal. To say they are special just seems silly. As a result, anytime anyone praises us for excellence or remarks at our strength, we just knock it down because it doesn’t even ring true. We might think, Yes, it’s true I can do that, but it’s nothing special. Anyone can do that.

This is not correct. Your contribution is completely unique. Although others could replicate a task, no one can replicate your version, speed, accuracy, technique, and insight.

The remedy here is to recognize and acknowledge that you have amazing strengths, and that your unique use of them (as improved by skill, experience, and knowledge) could very well be a world-class performance.