Forgiving Others

How do you handle it when someone deeply hurts you? Can you forgive such wounds, even when they were inflicted intentionally? Or do you think some things are simply unforgivable? Perhaps, like me, you’ve been let down by people—men or women—who initially showed great interest in you, only to drop you without any clear reason. This cycle of interest, withdrawal, and rejection led me to carry bitterness in my heart and even start speaking poorly about men.

The Bible encourages us to be patient and forgiving with one another, to forgive others just as God forgives us. This attitude is especially challenging when the hurt was inflicted deliberately. But it is the key to inner peace and to genuine, healing relationships. As Christians, we have personally experienced the undeserved forgiveness of Jesus, which gives us a special responsibility to extend that same forgiveness in our relationships with others.

This doesn’t mean we’re giving people a free pass to treat us poorly or take advantage of us. But it does mean that Jesus expects our lives and daily interactions to be characterized by forgiveness—not something we do grudgingly after a lengthy struggle, but something we choose to live out consistently.

Forgiveness is a gift, because forgiving means I release my disappointment over the actions of certain men so that my heart can be open to the man God has intended for me. If I hold onto my hurts, my heart will eventually grow bitter, and like in my case, I may come to believe that no man deserves my trust. But when I forgive the men who have hurt me, these wounds can begin to heal.

A turning point for me came when I realized I could entrust these wounds to God. Not only could I let go of my pain, but I also learned something about myself. I often judged myself harshly for my own weaknesses and mistakes. When I surrendered these burdens to God, I experienced a freeing transformation—and, interestingly, the way men treated me also started to change.

Next Step: Are you ready to forgive those who have hurt you? What hurts have pierced your heart so deeply that they feel like part of you? Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and for His perspective on the situation.