The Man You Were Made to BeНамуна

Friends

Friendship always comes with the possibility of rejection, hurt, and grief. When a friendship ends for some reason, we may harden our hearts to protect ourselves from ever being hurt by a friend again. (How’s that working out for you?) It’s taken me decades to learn that Jesus is the greatest friend we could ask for, and He shows us how to be that kind of friend to others.

We’ve noted already that even though Adam found himself in a perfect environment, it wasn’t good for him to be alone (Genesis 2:18). We need friends, and research indicates that most men don’t have near enough. Maybe that resonates with you because you’ve picked up some trust issues over the years. Me too. My superficiality complex was compounded when I became a pastor. I was living by a false mantra: ‘You can’t lead the people if you need the people.’ This, and moving around every few years, kept me from investing in deep friendships.

Thankfully, Jesus modelled a far better, more beautiful version of friendship. He arrived on earth saying, ‘I want to call you friends!’ He loved and led people, but at times also told them He needed them. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Make it your mission to be the kind of friend someone feels safe to call in an emergency – and don’t be afraid to phone a friend when you’re the one with the crisis. It really is ok to need people. Jesus had three very close friends, twelve He lived with 24/7, and seventy He spent loads of time with. Not all these friendships worked out for Jesus, but He befriended people anyway to show them His Father’s unconditional love.

Taking friendships to a deeper level requires being the kind of friend we’d love to have. Brainstorm practical ways you can be a better friend to someone in your life this week, giving instead of worrying about getting. Jesus said there’s no greater love than laying down your life for your friends (John 15:13). And He should know. He did exactly that, for you. That should tell you all you need to know about His reliability as a friend.

I heard a gospel message years ago at a time when I doubted God even existed. I suddenly understood that what Jesus did on the cross was personal – it was for me. Jesus was taking the punishment I deserved so I could be forgiven and friends forever with God. The heroic deed had been done. His love had been demonstrated. The offer was clear. Jesus was saying, ‘I want to be your best friend.’ I could accept it or reject it, but ignoring it was no longer an option. Jesus wants to be your best friend too. He vulnerably makes the first move as He offers to be the kind of friend who would – who did ­– give up His life for you. May you embrace Jesus’ friendship, and may you befriend others with the same vulnerability and love, inviting them to know Jesus too.