Finding Security Amidst the Storms: How to Find Your Secure Attachment in God-With-UsНамуна

Children who are securely attached are intuitive in seeking care. Hungry? Run to Mom. Frustrated? Run back to her arms to calm down. Relaxed and regulated, they venture forth to conquer. They experience comfort and care in the secure base of their mother’s arms, go out to explore, and then run back to security over and over as needed, assured of Mom’s attentive gaze.

We see this same intuition to seek care clearly in Psalm 18:

In my distress I called to the Lord;

I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice;

my cry came before him, into his ears. (v. 6)

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

he drew me out of deep waters. (v. 16)

He brought me out into a spacious place;

he rescued me because he delighted in me. (v. 19)

Later in the chapter, after David rests in God’s delight, he once again feels empowered and ready to explore.

It is God who arms me with strength

and keeps my way secure.

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;

e causes me to stand on the heights. . . .

You provide a broad path for my feet,

o that my ankles do not give way. (vv. 32, 33, 36)

Somewhere along the road, we stopped listening to our bodies’ basic messages. We learned to grit our teeth and turn off the messages of our healthy needs. We stopped crying out.

We learned which emotions were acceptable to our caregivers and earned us comfort and which ones we needed to drop from our repertoire.

Unfortunately, this sifting ended up creating caricatures of our true selves. We became either people pleasers who were more in tune with our parents’ inner worlds than our own or children who stopped listening to our needs altogether. We stopped running to parental arms for comfort.

Listening to our bodies’ messages becomes part of our journey to secure attachment to God. It is an invitation to become childlike. Listen to the words of your Emmanuel: “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3). We need to become guileless again.

In order to develop an earned secure attachment, we start by relearning our instincts and listening to our needs. Please recognize that I did not say obey our instincts. We listen and come to God, allowing him to bring us into the comfort of His embrace, receiving His compassion, and then allowing Him to discern our needs with us.