7 Days of Prayer to Prepare for MarriageНамуна

Recently, my wife and I got into a short argument about our son’s basketball schedule. We live in Waco, two hours from where he had a basketball tournament on a Saturday and Sunday. I got frustrated with Kristen because she wanted our son to keep his commitment even though it inconvenienced me and our family. I snapped at her and ended the conversation without resolving the issue.

I hate when I mess up with my wife. I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong; my pride kicks in, and my defensiveness goes up. I can’t see clearly and elevate my ego above my spouse and our marriage. God opposes proud people like me in these moments (James 4:6), and so does Kristen. During these times, I don’t desire restoration and reconciliation. Instead, I just want to win and be right.

I know I’m not alone—­nobody likes to be wrong, in marriage or in any relationship. We want to be right, and we don’t want to admit our sins and faults. But when my heart is contrite, I can acknowledge where I fall short and do anything and everything God asks of me. I’m more willing to do what my spouse and close friends challenge me to do. Contrition is a sacrifice, because in the process we lay aside our desires and elevate our spouse above ourselves.

God wants you to be willing to do anything and everything He asks of you. He desires a “broken and contrite heart” in you (Ps. 51:17). And guess what? So does your significant other. They want to know you’re willing to admit your faults. They want to know you’ll confess when you fall short and not defend yourself when you do. A broken and contrite heart leads us to feel remorse and act to bring healing to our relationship.

A marriage not marked by brokenness and contrition won’t thrive and may not even survive. But one that is shows a willingness to grow, heal, and resolve conflict in a God-­honoring way, laying aside selfish and prideful desires. As David said in Psalm 51:17 after his sin against the Lord and others, God will not despise a broken and contrite heart in you and your spouse.

Lord, help us to be broken and contrite in our relationship with You and with each other. Help us not to be prideful, for we know You oppose the proud but show favor and grace to the humble (James 4:6). Help us to be humble when we fall short and to embrace a broken and contrite posture, knowing that You desire this in us and in our marriage.