Tired of Trying: How to Hold on to God When You’re Frustrated, Fed Up, and Feeling ForgottenНамуна

Practicing Surrender

For what felt like way too many years in a row, hard things in my life would not stop. After many months of battling mental health issues, I was determined to have a better year as January 1 came into view. I pushed a workout DVD into the player in my bedroom and decided I would start this new year off right by getting in shape.

But as I stepped back into a lunge, I slipped on my son’s baby blanket and fell to the floor in excruciating pain. I looked down and saw my kneecap stuck on the outside of my leg. I screamed in pain. After my husband called 911, the paramedics came and rushed me to the hospital. I couldn’t believe that a day that had begun with so much hope was ending in yet another defeat. All of that would have been enough, but the next night as I rolled over in bed . . . pop! My knee dislocated once more, and we went through it all again.

In the back of the ambulance, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing something wrong. I wanted desperately to escape, but as I sat on the gurney, a sudden hush came over my soul. I had no strength left of my own to depend on in this long season. I found myself praying, Lord, we’ve been through too much for me to give up on You now. If I have to go through this, I would rather go through it with You than without You.

A moment of surrender.

If you find yourself in an exhausting or unexpected painful season, hear this: It is not a punishment from God. I know it is tempting to believe that everything you are going through could have been avoided if, at some point, you had made a different choice, but bravely release that lie to Him today.

When God freed the Israelites from their slavery in Egypt, He took them on a long route through the wilderness before bringing them to the Promised Land. This wasn’t a punishment; it was a part of the process of healing. He had heard their cries for freedom and had provided a way of deliverance, but being physically free wasn’t enough. God also wanted them to be free emotionally and spiritually.

In their captivity, the Israelites had learned to depend on themselves for everything. Their hearts had become numb because of brutal mistreatment and deprivation. God brought them out by way of wandering because they had to recognize that their self-reliance was not enough. He wanted them to learn to depend on Him alone (see Deuteronomy 8:3-7).

That was the lesson woven into those forty years of wilderness wandering, and this is the lesson we, too, must learn as God asks us, little by little, to practice surrendering to His ways. As we submit to Him, He will teach us dependence and bring us into all He has for us.

Reflection Question:
In what areas of your life might God be asking you to surrender?

Prayer:
Lord, I believe Your ways are best, even when I don't understand them. Help me to surrender and bring me Your beautiful freedom.