Tired of Trying: How to Hold on to God When You’re Frustrated, Fed Up, and Feeling ForgottenНамуна

Stop Pretending

I was fourteen weeks pregnant with my second son and two years into my long and tiring wrestle. The Lord helped me hold on to Him with all I had in the middle of my frustration and disappointment. I knew He was with me, but I was exhausted deep within my soul.

If I was honest, I felt guilty for not being the kind of mom who cherishes every moment of pregnancy like other moms. I wanted to be perceived as a good mom, but I could no longer pretend I felt that way. At that moment, it hit me how much pressure I was putting on myself to perform—for God, for my family, and so that I could be okay with myself.

I heard God gently whisper to my heart, “Stop pretending, Ashley. Stop pretending to have it all together, to be okay when you’re not. Stop getting others to tell you your worth and striving for others to recognize your value. I am the only One who can give you those things—and I want to.”

Maybe you, too, have become tired of outward trying that doesn’t seem sustainable. Maybe you know how it feels to have a friendly face pass you in the halls of the church asking, “How are you?” while you smile and say, “Fine,” but you wonder what they would think if they really knew how you were.

It is exhausting pretending to be something we are not. God loves us too much to let us put on a show all the days of our lives. He wants us to truly know and believe deep down that He loves us simply because we are His children, not because we have it all together or because we sign up to serve at every church event. Maybe we are so tired because we have been trying for so very long to do it all in our own strength when that was never God’s intent.

In Matthew 11:28-29 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (NIV).

What we really need when we are tired of trying is to run to Jesus. He doesn't want us to perform for Him; He wants our hearts to learn from him and the gentle way He leads and guides us to what we need most: rest for our souls.

Reflection Question:
Are there areas of your life where you feel you have to perform in order to earn acceptance from God or others?

Prayer:
Lord, sometimes it’s hard to believe You could love me even when I’m tired of trying. Help me to receive the love and grace You have for me today in the same way I received it when I first came to know You. I need You just as much right now.