Single SeasonsНамуна

Single and Dating

Dating, undeniably, has its difficulties. Rarely do we meet our ‘person’ on the first try. Often, we will need to go on a few dates and experience a few ‘no’s’ before we find our ‘yes!’

Christian men and women looking for a potential partner must employ some wisdom. Haphazardly approaching this area of our lives can lead us to become bruised and obtain baggage that we must work through later. When considering this topic, I was reminded of the first thing my friend said to me before I walked into her church for the first time – be open.

Perceiving that I was a little apprehensive about going to her church for the first time, she wanted me to concentrate on keeping an open mind and welcoming the new experience. I give this same advice to you when it comes to dating - be open.

If we approach dating with a negative, judgmental, and closed attitude, we will not likely meet someone special. We will pick them apart and find reasons not to give them a chance. Whereas, if we remain open and positive, we will attract a similar kind of person willing - at the very least – to make a new friend.

It takes a while for people to reveal who they really are. We can all be guilty of sugar-coating ourselves upon a first or second meeting, but after time, we start peeling back the layers of who we are and revealing our true selves. Give people a chance to do this. If a first date is clunky and awkward, but you sense that there is potential, go for a second date and give them the benefit of the doubt.

This leads us nicely to the next piece of advice I have learned to follow over my years of dating – go for a coffee instead of dinner! Let me explain.

If you commit to a full-on, 4-hour dinner as a first date experience, you may have bitten off more than you can chew. Why not consider going for a coffee and cake as a first date? That way, if you enjoy each other’s company, you can extend the date to a longer experience, but if things are clearly not going well, you won’t have committed to more than an hour in the company of someone you know is not for you.

The next piece of advice may be obvious, but it’s incredible how many people need to hear it anyway - look after yourself! Use this season of your life to get dressed up, look your best and present yourself well. Not only does looking your best and presenting yourself well give you confidence, but it also helps the other person see your potential as a partner.

Finally, be kind. Being very nervous on a first, second, or even third date is expected, so be kind.

Matthew 7:12 (NIV) tells us this:

‘So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.’

Remember, you are a Christian! And as a follower of Jesus, we are expected and encouraged to display the fruits of the spirit in our character. (See Galatians 5:22-23) Behave well, treat others with respect, and remember – you are an ambassador of Christ wherever you go.

Father God, As complex as dating can be, I pray that the experience is pleasant for all who are reading this devotional. I pray we all enjoy getting to know various individuals as we look for the one we will spend our lives with. Bless this process, God, and send your Holy Spirit with us on every date. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Join us again tomorrow for a conversation about being single and dating online.