Single SeasonsНамуна

Single and Lonely

If you’re a single Christian, you’ll likely be familiar with what I call the ‘weekend dilemma.’

Let me paint a picture... You have a full-time job, Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm. You have the gym/exercise classes after work, a book club, or some other extra-curricular activity - dinner, a bit of tv, and bed.

Then the weekend comes and... what? The weekends can sometimes be a cruel reminder that you are not in a relationship. So, what’s a girl/guy to do?

I take great comfort from a lot of scripture, but one verse that stands out to me whenever I’m feeling a little bereft of friends and relationships is this:

‘God sets the lonely in families.’ (Psalm 68:6 NIV)

Another way to interpret this scripture is to remind yourself that God does not leave us alone in our seasons of singleness – He places us in community. This could be a church community, a family unit, a group of close friends, or all of the above! Either way, God does not abandon us to our loneliness; He supplies all of our needs according to His riches in glory (see Philippians 4:19).

As well as the promise that loneliness is not our final portion, there is also the concept that being single is a blessing. I know, I know, it can be a little annoying when you are single and want to be in a relationship, that someone comes along and tells you to be blessed in your singleness! It can feel cliché and a little condescending. But what if there is some truth in it?

Think about it, perhaps one of the most important parts of being single is that you have the time and space to become the best version of yourself for yourself and your future spouse. You can go to the gym, eat well, rest, read and enjoy your single time so that, when someone special comes along, they find a person living their best life, rather than someone who is pining and miserable.

The harsh reality of being single is that, sometimes, you will feel lonely. You will need to sit with that feeling from time to time. Please know that it is not your ultimate end. If you genuinely desire to be married and have a family, I truly believe that God is in that desire and will meet you where you are.

Ask yourself a question in the moments of loneliness, ‘Do you trust God enough to know that He will bring you ‘your’ person when the time is right?’ Spoiler alert -the answer is yes! Knowing that God can be trusted with your future, look to the days ahead with the solid assurance that being alone and lonely are two different things.

God is on your side, and He is the One who can love you wholly and fully until He is ready to entrust you to another person. So, you see, my friends, you are never alone as God is with you, and he will help to get you through your loneliness.

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 (NLT)

Father God, Singleness and loneliness can sometimes go hand in hand. I pray for every person reading this devotional. I pray that they will find you to be faithful in placing them in a family – whatever that may look like – and that they will rarely have to experience the pain and sting of prolonged loneliness. Bless this individual with experiences and a life they love so their significant other can find them in a good place, Lord, not a place of deficit. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Next step – Consider who your community is, then make a conscious effort to invest time in those relationships, especially while you are single.

Join us tomorrow as we unpack what it means to be single and in the Church.