Spiritual Leadership in the HomeНамуна

God’s Sovereignty

As men, we are given more than one responsibility in God’s Word. We are called to love our wives and instruct our children. We also have the responsibility to provide for, protect, and lead our families. Scripture describes these as being a man’s God-given role concerning his family.

We can’t feel satisfied because we’re achieving in one realm if we’re neglecting in another. If I see what I’m doing in the financial sphere and think, “I’m a good provider for my family,” but I’m not spending any time with my children nor my wife, then I’m failing in a God-given area of responsibility. I must remember that I have more than one God-given assignment. My responsibility is not just to provide financially. 

There is a place in the Christian marriage in both directions for correction. My wife and I are coming into 38 years married. She’s corrected me plenty of times. There’s a way for correction to occur, which honors God and our roles—the distinctions God has assigned to the sexes. 

In terms of a wife trusting the husband’s judgment, it is a beautiful thing to remember that God is at work through the authorities He has assigned over our lives in ways that transcend them. When the wife thinks she could’ve made a better decision if she had taken the lead, she needs to remember that God isn’t limited to the abilities and capacities of the person in authority over us. Even through bad decisions (not sinful choices), a family can end up in a very good place because God had a plan even for that situation.  

Wives can trust the Lord to be at work in their husband’s decision-making, as long as it honors Christ. That trust doesn’t mean that wives can stop growing spiritually, or that they don’t share their views, give their wisdom, or appeal to their husbands. But if the husband decides, after the couple has prayed together, and even when they can’t come to an agreement, the wife must let her husband lead. 

And if it happens to be a decision she doesn’t think is best, she should trust that our sovereign God is at work even then, for His glory, for her good, and for the benefit of her family. Even if the decision brings some hardship, even if it means some mistakes, we can survive them, and the Lord can grow us through those.