Spiritual Leadership in the HomeНамуна

To Submit or Not to Submit

When a wife considers she’s “more spiritual” than her husband, she may have difficulty biblically submitting to him. We are talking about a man who is a Bible-believing Christian, not one who leads her to sin, but who lacks the same desire and drive that she has for spiritual things. 

The first thing a wife should do is pray for her husband—prayer should not be diminished. Through prayer, the Lord has a way of bringing about circumstances that can drive a man to a new place of devotion that he’s never known before. She should pray for her husband. She should appeal to him and share her concerns and desires with him in a loving way, communicating the burden that she has and the seriousness of the situation. The wife should make clear to him that she expects him to be the leader of their home. 

Sometimes the wife has a strong desire to lead her family spiritually, so the husband yields to that. The wife becomes the de facto leader in the home in spiritual things. The husband doesn’t have a problem leading everything else, but when it comes to spiritual things, he’s willing to take the back seat and let her lead the way. She needs to sit down with him to have a heart-to-heart and say: “I also need you to be the spiritual leader of our family.” 

At some point, if the couple is a part of a healthy local congregation, the wife could reach out to a leader in the church and say: “Would you mind coming alongside my husband and encouraging him in his walk with Christ?” She can do that without being disrespectful to her husband. Or she can also ask her husband: “Would you consider reaching out to someone for discipleship and encouragement in the Lord?” 

The wife can ask him to read the Bible with her and to pray with and for her. She should give her husband room to grow into the leadership role and stop taking the lead. She can also ask him to lead devotions with the children, even if he doesn’t do it the way she would’ve done it. Instead of undermining him and pointing out all the ways he could’ve done it better, she should encourage him first. The wife should give her husband time and space, with prayer, to let him grow into the leader role.