Overcome Porn: The 40 Day ChallengeНамуна

Laura remembers the day she had finally had enough of her husband Ryan’s porn addiction. She found porn in the home yet again—the one place where you should be assured safety, a haven and a place to flourish, have peace, and be blessed by the Lord (Prov. 3:33, 14:11). She had heard all the promises of change. She had heard all the excuses. She was exhausted and ready to give up. That was the day she began to see the power of Christian friendships.

Laura called Ryan and told him, “You need to stop looking at pornography.” With tears streaming down her face, she packed her bags and left to stay with her parents. 

Laura left Ryan with two accountability allies: “They spent hours with Ryan asking him all of the tough questions, kicking his behind, and teaching him how to be an honest man. They noticed and jumped on parts of Ryan’s personality and perspective that I wouldn’t have had the discernment or courage to address.”

Laura sought help from two close friends as well. They encouraged her and helped restore her connection to a local church. 

Through the power of accountability, Laura learned to respect Ryan again. She says: “Once Ryan and I were speaking again, we shared the important lessons we had learned. Ryan told me about the power of being accountable to other men. Although Ryan firmly believes that he ultimately answers to God, it sure helps to be open and honest with friends who agree that pornography is destructive and who want the best for him. He told me that he had downloaded Covenant Eyes Accountability software on all of our computers and that a small group of men he trusted would receive full reports of all his online activity.”

Do not be afraid to take action: exercise tough love and take a firm stand against pornography in your marriage. Like Laura and Ryan, you too can experience restoration and renewal. 

Reflection

• What part of Laura and Ryan’s story stood out to you? Why?
• If you’re married, how has pornography affected your spouse? If you’re single, how does this story help you understand why it’s important to find freedom before marriage?