Overcome Porn: The 40 Day ChallengeНамуна

God built us for relationships. Created in His image, we are relational beings just as He is relational. We often tend to confuse intimacy, or closeness, with our desire for sex. But true intimacy (or “Into-Me-See”) is about knowing and being known by the other. It includes trust, confidence, and mutual support—in other words, friendship. True intimacy means we allow another person to see inside of us, and to let ourselves be seen for who we truly are. We hold nothing back and in turn we experience love, acceptance, and appreciation. We are valued and cherished. Then we do the same for the other person. 

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit live in this intimacy. God designed us for this unity. Christ even prays to God the Father that we might experience this intimacy (Jn. 17:21). Porn creates a parody of this by playing on our desires—not just our desire for sexual pleasure, but also for unity and connection. 

In order to make a lasting break from pornography, we need to intentionally pursue intimacy with God and to love him the most (Matt. 22:37) as a trusted friend who cares for you (1 Pet. 5:7), and then pursue intimacy with others. 

Reflection

Dr. Brad Miller of Restoration Counseling Service says, “True intimacy seeks to answer: ‘How can I know you better?,’ ‘How can I meet your needs?,’ and ‘What can I do for you?’”

Though intimacy for singles and couples may look different, many of the same principles apply. Whether married or single, consider how you can pursue intimacy with God or with others:

1. Affection and care. Non-sexual touching, such as hugs, are important both inside and outside of marriage. Also, praying for each other simultaneously builds and communicates closeness. 

2. Vulnerable communication. A close relationship is a place where two people can share anything—childhood memories, crazy dreams, disappointments, hopes, and anything else—in safety. Listen more and listen well.

3. Mutual living. Intimacy includes a desire to be together and share experiences and daily life.

4. Mutual giving. Do you seek ways to relieve the other person’s stress, to serve, and make him or her feel special?