12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can AvoidНамуна

We Won’t Let Our Kids Struggle

It’s the resistance, hairline tears, and lactic-acid-filled recovery of a muscle that makes it stronger. It’s the years of undulating seas and crashing waves that make driftwood beautiful. It’s the struggle to break out of a cocoon that gives the butterfly the strength to fly. And as parents, we’ve realized by now our life experiences—both good and bad—strengthened and prepared us for the life we’re living.

In his book, Tim tells a story of an American parent who moved with their three-year-old into a neighborhood in Switzerland. The parent found out their child’s teacher had introduced a saw as a play toy for the three and four-year-olds. The saw incident happened in the same neighborhood where the principal urges parents to allow their four and five-year-olds to walk to school alone. This parent worked up the courage to ask one of her three-year-old’s teachers about safety procedures in case of emergencies. After quickly rattling them off, the teacher added, “I’ve been a forest playgroup teacher for 10 years, and I’ve never had to call a parent because of an injury.” Really? Forest playgroup teacher? And, what about all the times there was an injury, but you just didn’t call? Swiss army knives just started making a lot more sense!

Clearly these Swiss educators are not only against removing struggle, but they outright introduce it to toddlers. James, the brother of Jesus, held a similarly contrarian view of struggle. He didn’t just say, “struggle isn’t so bad.” In James chapter one (MSG) he said, Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. As you keep reading in James, you’ll read how struggle produces perseverance and maturity. You’ll also read about a God who doesn’t mind when we ask for help. We parents need to allow our children to struggle, but we also need to be present and ready to help.

Practice: Talk with your child about some ways you can partner with them through their trials.